The Missing Ingredient – Love, Attention, Care and Communication

Drugs, alcohol, dangerous sex, wrong company, unhealthy relationships – These are some of the things parents are terrified of their children and teenagers getting into. There are many contributing factors to why children, teenagers and even young adults stray and abuse the above. But one of the most common reason I write this is that we have loads of parents who bring their kids to us with these issues and the more I spend time with these kids and teenagers and adults, the more I learn one thing.

Most of them are craving “attention, love and security” which that they never got when they were growing up. Most of them were compared to other kids and children in and out of their families. They were labeled as useless, good for nothing, etc. I cant tell you how many of these cases seem to be growing. They want time with their parents. They want a safe space to communicate. If they don’t get it at home, they look for it outside. Children are vulnerable and hence they get fooled and tricked into bad relationships and vices. This is not about blaming parents, its about fixing a serious condition in society.

Most parents may not even be aware. Sometimes I speak to these parents and they say “oh! we didn’t know”, “we don’t have time because we are too busy working to give our kids a good life”.

There has to be balance. More than a good life, they first need love, attention, care and communication. At the end of it all, you may give them all the material things but what’s the point if alcohol, drugs and vices are slowly ruining them. How much more will we slap on heavy drugs, medications, anti depressants, put them in rehab, etc. ? Some of the most complicated things in life can be solved with the simplest methods.

Give them your time, love and care. Its free. I understand many adults and parents themselves suffer from loneliness, vices, insecurity etc., but these basics must be given and when we give it to children or teenagers and they heal….you heal too.

– Luke Coutinho