5 Red Flags That You Have a Low Anger Score
What is a Low Anger Score?
Let me start with a story. A 35-year-old software engineer came to me after experiencing persistent digestive issues, fatigue, and unexplained weight loss. Despite these symptoms, her demeanor was incredibly calm, almost too calm, during our consultations. She would often smile, laugh, and talk about her busy work schedule and family life without showing any frustration or signs of stress. Even when I asked her about her health struggles, she shrugged them off, saying, “I’m sure it’ll be fine. No point worrying too much.”
As we dove deeper into her lifestyle and emotional health, it became clear that she was suppressing a lot of anger and frustration. She had always been the “peacekeeper” in her family and work, avoiding conflict at all costs. This calmness, however, was masking her internalized emotions—what we call a “low anger score.” While she appeared to be serene on the outside, this emotional suppression was wreaking havoc on her physical health.
My mind immediately went into detective mode, trying to identify this calmness as a low anger score (anger, hurt, and pain within, but on the outside, the person appears calm and kind). Low anger scores tell a lot about a patient and have a direct connection with their physiological health and even disease. Hence, we always look for these signs so we can address the emotional health of the patient over and above their protocol.
After recognizing this pattern, we worked on uncovering the hidden anger and addressing it in healthy ways. As she began to express her emotions more openly, her physical symptoms gradually improved. Her case reinforced how emotional health is intricately connected to physical well-being.
Anger is a healthy emotion
Anger is actually a pretty normal and healthy emotion when you think about it. Think of it like an internal alarm that goes off when something is wrong. It can be really useful—it helps us spot when our boundaries are crossed or when we’re being treated unfairly. And sometimes, it can even push us to take action and make positive changes, especially when it’s righteous anger. That’s the kind of anger that comes from a sense of justice, like standing up for yourself or others when you know something is wrong. It’s the type that can lead to real change, whether it’s personal or even on a bigger, societal level.
But, of course, there’s a flip side. Uncontrolled anger can get messy. If we let it get the best of us, it can hurt our relationships, lead to impulsive decisions, and create stress in our bodies. On the other hand, bottling it up isn’t any better. Suppressing anger for too long can lead to things like chronic stress, anxiety, or even health issues.
The mastery lies in finding a balance. Identifying how to express anger in a way that helps you without harming others. It’s all about recognizing when anger is trying to tell us something important and figuring out the best way to act on it.
5 Red Flags That You Have a Low Anger Score
- Always Staying Calm in Stressful Situations: If you remain overly calm, even when something upsetting happens, you might be suppressing emotions instead of processing them.
- Avoiding Conflict at All Costs: When you shy away from difficult conversations or tense situations, it could be a sign that you’re bottling up anger to avoid confrontation.
- Struggling to Say “No”: If you constantly say “yes” to things that overwhelm you, it may mean you’re not setting boundaries, leading to unexpressed frustration.
- Ignoring Your Own Needs: Consistently putting others’ needs before your own, without expressing your discomfort or frustration, is a major sign of low anger expression.
- Physical Symptoms with No Clear Cause: Unexplained physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or fatigue can sometimes be linked to repressed emotions, including anger.
How to Move to Action
- Acknowledge Your Emotions
Start by recognizing when you’re feeling angry. Journaling or talking to someone can help bring these feelings to the surface. - Practice Saying “No”
Set respectful boundaries. Learn to say “no” slowly but gradually, when necessary. It’s time to put your own needs and well-being first. - Use Healthy Outlets
Challenge that anger and stress through activities like art, exercise, meditation in constructive ways. - Improve Communication
Practice assertiveness by expressing your feelings openly, without aggression. Clear, honest communication can prevent future resentment. - Seek Professional Support
If suppressed anger is affecting your health or relationships, therapy or counseling can help you work through these emotions and find healthier ways to express them.
The first step is acknowledgment and then moving to action. Know someone who may be struggling with this too? Share this read with them.
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Book a one-on-one consultation with our emotional wellness counsellors.
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