Why Do We Fail to Achieve Our Goals?
All of us have different goals to achieve in life, like health, financial, relationship, personal growth, and so on. What does it take to achieve these goals, and how can we fail proof our goals?
If you are constantly failing at meeting your goals, or in the process of achieving your goals, there are three things you want to look at:
- Between your goal and expected results, is a PROCESS.
There are three parts in any goal achieving process: goal, results, process.
- Goal: Have a clear goal. If your goal is constantly changing, because either you do not know what you truly want, or are following what others around you are doing, your process and result will constantly change too. So, have a crystal clear goal that is driven from within, and not from what others are doing.
- Result: The result is not under our control. It is dependent on the process.
- Process: This is the journey in between the goal and results. This is where most of us fail, as we are not committed to the process. The process has to be aligned to your goals. The second step once you commit to the process is, accepting that there are going to be ups and downs, difficulties and ease, and happiness and sadness. It is all a part of the process you are committing to. Do not feel entitled that everything has to work out your way, because this is when disappointment, frustration, and giving up come into play. A commitment to the process is not possible without understanding that there are going to be ups and downs, there may be days when you fall off the track, failures, and so on. So, learn to fail, but also learn to learn from failures, and make changes in the process, instead of crying, wallowing in self pity, and staying stuck in victim mode.
- Be aware of what distracts you.
When we are on the path of staying committed to the process, and there are distractions or derailments like social media, socializing, partying, too much drinking, and many other distractions which pulls us away from your goal, we fail. Our commitment towards the process needs to be stronger than the distractions.
For e.g.: Why do most people fail to meet their weight loss goal? Suppose, your goal is to lose x kilos, and the process requires you to focus on nutrition, exercise, sleep, and emotional health, it is then necessary to stay committed to the process. However, most people commit themselves to only parts of the process, and not the whole process. Then, is it reasonable to expect results? No! All the complaining, blaming, and whining will never change the truth that your commitment was not up to the mark. Ask yourself, “Was I committed to the process?” If your answer is yes, then you will get your results, or if you don’t, then one needs to look at deeper issues like hormonal imbalance, thyroid dysfunction, and so on. But, if your answer is no, then accept your responsibility, and recommit to the process. Simple!
- Readiness to develop new habits along the way.
To be able to stay committed to the process, there may be a need to develop new habits along the way. If you are not willing to adopt new habits, you are not committed enough, and if you are not committed enough, you may not reach your goal. For e.g. If your goal is to improve sleep, are you willing to cultivate the right habits for it?
Sometimes, our goals may completely change, or the process we were once committed to may completely change. Then what? Here is where you need to be flexible in your approach. There is a saying, “Be rigid about your goal, but flexible in your approach!”
Be ready to adapt and change according to the circumstances, if your process needs you to do that. Rigidity and un-openness to change closes our own doors of possibilities.
So, to recap, whatever goal you are trying to achieve in life, it only comes down to the following points:
- Have you got the right process in place?
- Are you committed to the process? If you are failing, then go back to the process, re-evaluate it, and see what you need to do to stay committed to the process.
- Are you ready to develop new habits along the way to stay committed to the process?
- Are you flexible to change?
Most of us will get our own answers for not being able to meet our goals, if we breakdown and introspect our own actions and process.
My name is Luke Coutinho. I am neither a God nor a Guru. I am not a healer or a doctor or a cult leader. I am Luke Coutinho and I practice in the field of Integrative Lifestyle Medicine and Life Coaching. When one hears the word “medicine”, one immediately thinks of the pharmaceutical world, allopathy, chemotherapy, radiation, antibiotics and other drugs used by conventional doctors and medicine. I am not a practitioner of Alternative Medicine either.