Toxic Positivity: 5 Red Flags Indicating Your Positivity Might Be Toxic!

Positivity is great. But are you so overly optimistic that your positivity has now turned into toxic positivity? In a world where positivity is often hailed as the ultimate remedy for all of life’s woes, it’s easy to fall into the trap of toxic positivity. Yes, you read that right – positivity can sometimes become toxic, and the consequences can be far-reaching. So, how do you know if your sunny outlook has crossed the line into toxicity? Let’s dive in and uncover five unmistakable red flags that indicate your positivity (read: toxic positivity) might be doing more harm than good.

#1 Emotional Suppression Alert!

Do you treat negativity like an unwanted guest, shoving it under the rug? Your positivity might be getting too intense. Ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear; it just gives them a VIP pass to wreak havoc later.

#2 Invalidating the Feelings of Others

Are you constantly telling others to “look on the bright side” or “stay positive” without acknowledging their struggles? Broadcasting relentless positivity without giving others room to vent or share is like bulldozing their feelings. It makes them feel invalidated and unheard. 

#3 You Avoid Problems, Confrontation and Reality

Do you have a “positive vibes only” sign on your reality? Avoiding problems won’t make them vanish. Sometimes, you need to roll up your sleeves and tackle the real issues, not just sprinkle positivity on top. 

#4 You Are Stuck in a Positivity Pressure Cooker

Do you feel pressured to feel positive, even when life throws curveballs? It’s okay to feel a little down sometimes. Feel all your feelings – sadness, frustration, or anger – without feeling guilty or pressured to maintain a positive facade. 

#5 Fake It Till You Break It

Is the positivity you feel real or superficial? Do you feel like an actor putting on a show without genuinely feeling it? It’s time for an authenticity check. Superficial positivity not only emotionally drains you but also makes it difficult for others to connect with you on a deeper level.

How to move past this?

Feeling genuinely positive involves embracing both the sunshine and storm clouds. 

You may choose to dance in the rain, but let’s not pretend the clouds don’t exist!  

What can you do to avoid toxic positivity? Read to find out. 

Here’s how you can tackle it:

Feel all your feelings

Give yourself permission to feel the entire emotional spectrum. Acknowledge both the highs and lows without judgment. Have a colorful emotional palette rather than just one shade.

Listen, don’t fix.

When friends or family share their struggles, resist the urge to quickly slap on a “stay positive” band-aid. Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear, not a solution. Validate their feelings by saying, “I hear you.”

Take a moment to assess your situation realistically.

Ask yourself: Am I ignoring real problems? It’s like cleaning a messy room – acknowledging the mess is the first step to tidying up.

Ditch the positivity performance.

Be authentic about your feelings. People connect with realness, not perfection. 

Allow your positivity to be flexible, like yoga for your mind.

It doesn’t mean avoiding challenges but adopting a positive mindset to navigate them. It’s resilience in action.

Transform your internal dialogue.

Instead of forcing positivity, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself like you would a friend – with kindness, understanding, and a bit of tough love when needed.

Practice deeper gratitude

When you use gratitude for positivity, instead of listing things you’re thankful for, delve into why you appreciate them. It adds depth to your positivity, making it more meaningful.

Now that you know what to do about this toxic positivity, move to action. 

Struggling with toxc positivity and building an authentic you? Need personalized guidance? Book a one-on-one consult with our emotional wellness counsellors or holistic life coaches.

Reach out to our team by calling 1800 102 0253 or write to us at consults@lukecoutinho.com