Female Masturbation: Definition, Myths And Health Benefits

I cant tell you how many cases of women we see on a weekly basis where the root cause of most of their current health is due to lack of sex, poor relations and low self esteem. From rapid weight gain and inability to lose weight – one of the emotional connections for this is usually insecurity, not feeling loved or good about oneself, sexual tension, lack of sex, abuse.

Case studies on Women’s health
Over the last couple of months, I had 14 women approach us with problems related to frequent UTI (urinary tract infection), vaginal discharge and thrush, burning sensations in the vagina, pain and discomfort and lower abdominal pain.After diagnosing and learning that food, exercise, sleep and hygiene wise they were all fine and that their reports to determine bacterial infections were clean too, the next and most important vertical to diagnose further into was their emotional and sexual health.

Emotional and sexual health are important verticals of holistic health
In holistic and lifestyle medicine, we look at the body and mind as a whole. We have noticed how important it is to get into asking questions about sex lives and physical relationships too, because so much related to their health condition is connected to sex and how they feel about their bodies and themselves and emotions that pent-up in their heart and mind. Six out of fourteen women were married with little or no sex lives. They felt low about themselves and their self esteem was rock bottom. They were beautiful women but had relationship issues. Some of them had no sex for over 3 months to a year and they craved it. They wanted to fantasize about it and all this led to new complications in their health and emotional health.

Why be ashamed to talk about sex – a process that’s so natural
It is so sad that most women till date don’t and are afraid or ashamed to talk about sex, fantasies, orgasms, intercourse and sexual dysfunctions that they live with. There are thousands of women living with sexual problems just because they cannot or feel awkward to talk about it .

If your sex life isn’t as fulfilling, there is nothing wrong in masturbating
My team and me finally got down to encouraging these women to masturbate. They were adamant at first, but then my women health coaches managed to coach them into understanding the importance of masturbation and when they did it, a week later they reverted with the most outstanding improvement in their sexual health. Masturbation is normal, natural and a happy experience. We have to break this taboo around sex and break it real hard. We must understand that humans are sexual beings. Sex and pleasure is natural to women and men. The belief system and mindsets that have been embedded in our subconscious minds from the time we were small to what we heard, learnt, saw and read has created limitations and fear in our minds and they have to be challenged.

I believe that every woman has a right to pleasure and that should never be suppressed and controlled by dominant males and a society with ‘small thinking minds’. The same for men, but this article is about women. No doubt sex and love making between two people can be a respectful, beautiful, fulfilling and meaningful experience but when a woman isn’t getting it and needs it, she should explore masturbation. Its not just their right to pleasure, it’s a human and body need.

Now, I am not here to advise affairs or finding lovers. Thats a personal choice and comes with consequences. I am here to say and encourage masturbation. Put all your fears aside, break preconceived mindsets and belief systems and understand its normal, natural and you deserve it .

Benefits of masturbation

1. It’s a great way to relieve sexual tension and feel good about yourself.

2. There is magic that happens when a woman orgasms. Orgasms release dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins that can improve your mood and create a natural high.

3. There is a huge chance it can prevent you from getting on those depression meds if lack of sex and pleasure is the root cause of why you may have to take powerful drugs.

4. Most women suffer from sleep issues and inability to fall asleep. But it all changed when we worked with them to have sex or make love before bed time. And if that wasn’t possible, masturbate yourself to sleep. Its the chemical oxytocin that helps the body and mind relax and that’s how we can fall into a beautiful deep sleep.

5. A lot of women with difficult period and menstrual cycles engage in masturbation to make things better. While masturbating or self stimulating yourself to an orgasm, it results in an uterine contraction that helps the menstrual blood flow, and reduces cramping and pain.

6. Masturbation helps your body and mind to continue feeling sexual even of you are not having sex.

7. It keeps elasticity and strength in those tissues and a strong blood flow to the brain.

8. Masturbation may be great for your self-esteem especially if you are not having sex. This is because it engages you in building your own fantasies that can make you feel good about yourself. It allows you to explore your body and your sexuality which is real and beautiful. It helps you get more comfortable with your body and explore your own pleasure points which you can possible use in communication with your partner to improve your sex life and the way you feel about yourself.

9. Masturbation keeps your pelvic floor and muscles strong because of the contractions that happen when you reach an orgasm.

10. Most men and women have their deepest fantasies, which may never come to play in real life. Masturbation can help you reach and play out those fantasies in your own safe place.

11. Your orgasm is important for your mind, emotions and physical body . During arousal, you’ll notice your heart rate increase, skin may begin to feel (and look) flushed and your genitals will swell with blood. But you’re also building up a lot of muscle tension throughout your body. Once you reach orgasm, the muscles in your vagina, anus, and uterus involuntarily rhythmically contract and then relax. Hence that awesome feeling of “release.”

12. At the same time, your brain is working up quite a potent cocktail of chemicals. That includes the neurotransmitter dopamine which is commonly associated with pretty much anything that feels good. But during an orgasm, you’re also getting a huge release of oxytocin, which can promote feelings of closeness and empathy (among many other things). There is a lot that happens during an orgasm.

Ways to masturbate
One can explore the use of sex toys. There is nothing wrong in this. It may be banned in certain countries but where it isn’t, its something that can help you. If you aren’t into toys, you still have the old fashioned DIY way.

Bottom line:
Don’t deprive yourself. Sex is natural and a part of our lives. It has every connection with our emotional health and anything that disturbs our emotional health affects our physical health with ailments, disease and illness. So before you get your condition wrongly diagnosed and get medicines and mood elevators prescribed, evaluate your sexual health and sex life. If there is a gap, fill it and see how much you may improve. If you still don’t, ofcourse take professional help and advice. Just that we need to address the root causes first before jumping for a ‘quick fix’ pill or treatment.

I also think and hope, a lot of men should be okay with women engaging in masturbation and refrain from putting women down because of their inflated egos and pride.

– Luke Coutinho