Is Your Ego Getting the Better of You? Ask Yourself 6 Questions to Find Out
Life can show us all different seasons and days; several events shape our persona and teach us important lessons. While failures, low phases, and life’s challenges have the power to humble people from all walks of life, success can sometimes do the opposite.
One of the richest nuggets of wisdom I learned early in life is this: Your circumstances must not dictate your pride. What we have can be taken away in an instant; at the same time, our dreams could come true overnight. However, what you will ultimately respect yourself for the most is the grace you showed when you had nothing—and the grace you consistently maintained when you achieved everything.
Life is impermanent and things can change at any given time. But having an inflated sense of ego can harm you in the long run.
I call it one of the deadly horsemen because an unchecked ego trap can easily ruin opportunities, tarnish reputations, and destroy relationships. How often have you seen people change in the blink of an eye due to the success, wealth, or power they acquired? And how often have you felt disinclined to associate with people whose egoistic energy is almost palpable?
In my experience, some people are unable to heal despite having all the resources and guidance they need. The common denominator? Ego and pride. Not even the best medicines work when the mind is clouded by these forces. To heal and thrive, we must start with a healthy mind. Ego and pride create a greenhouse for negative emotions to fester, holding us back from growth and connection.
Today, I want to talk about how we can reconnect with our soul’s wisdom through the higher self, and overcome ego traps. Towards the end of this article are SIX powerful questions that will bring you closer to your higher self.
What is an Ego Trap?
Before we understand an ego trap, let’s take a minute to get to know what ego actually means in terms of psychology.
The ego is like the middleman in our psyche—it helps us navigate the push and pull between our desires and the reality around us. It plays an important role in shaping our self-identity and decision-making. When balanced, the ego gives us confidence and direction. But when inflated, it can disconnect us from empathy and humility, leading to feelings of superiority or entitlement. The key is recognizing its influence and using it as a tool, not a trap.
Now let me make it clear: There is a distinction between a healthy and unhealthy ego.
Cultivating a healthy ego helps us have positive self-esteem and boundaries. This is absolutely essential to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of, being mistreated, or in severe cases preventing abuse. A healthy ego is grounded in reality and knows who you are, your strengths, and your capabilities. It’s a spark that keeps you motivated to do better in life.
Now let’s talk about when ego takes up a negative form. This is when your sense of self becomes overly inflated to the point where you start to look down on others. It is closely followed by pride and overconfidence, and together they form the trinity of an egoistic person who is unable to remain grounded.
This can also lead to undesirable traits like:
- Jealousy
- Over-competitiveness
- Combativeness
- Defensiveness
- Contempt
- Low self-esteem
…and finally, a crack in the moral fiber of a person.
You’ve read hundreds of books, watched several movies, and even heard news clips about what people may do because of an ego trap.
An unhealthy ego can turn anyone into a ship without an anchor – the worse your ego gets, the further away you slip from your authentic self, your higher self.
Temporary Lapses of Ego
While we all work hard to stay humble and mindful, it is possible that on occasion, the shadow side of our ego may have reared its head. So does that make you a bad person? No. Before you start to get worried, take a breath and relax. We all have been there when our egos get a bit out of hand. I have experienced it as well, but I always make it a point to take a reality check and center myself.
While experiencing an ego boost may feel great at the start, the part where it snowballs into a huge ego is when we become dependent on praise to feel better. Then, the mind starts to create a false narrative in our heads, turning us into the main characters of a dramatic movie.
However, life is not a movie. So what keeps these ego traps intact?
Identifying When You’re Operating from Ego: 4 Signs
Recognizing when you’re operating from ego can transform how you live, heal, and connect with others. Here are the four key signs to look out for:
- Victim Mentality: This shows up as “Why is this happening to me?” or “It’s all over for me.” The ego thrives in victim mode, keeping you stuck in resistance rather than acceptance. For instance, one breakup makes you believe all love is bad, or losing one job convinces you that all jobs are terrible. When you stay in victim mode, healing and progress become impossible.
- Scarcity Mindset: This mindset tells you that no matter how much you have, it’s never enough. Even the wealthiest individuals can operate from scarcity, constantly seeking more or feeling they don’t have enough. Scarcity blocks abundance, creating a cycle of limiting beliefs, fear, and greed.
- Constant Criticism: If you’re always spotting mistakes—be it in yourself, others, or situations—it’s ego at work. This negativity keeps you from seeing lessons and growth opportunities, leaving you stuck in judgment and dissatisfaction. This also may look like having frequent ego clashes with others at home, work, or elsewhere.
- Complaining Without Action: Endless complaining without taking steps to improve things is another hallmark of ego. Whether it’s grumbling about potholes or life’s challenges, ego keeps you in a loop of frustration without solutions.
When you notice these patterns, it’s a chance to pause and realign with your higher self.
How to Exit the Ego Trap and Reconnect with Your Higher Self
Getting out of the ego trap is all about shifting perspective. Here’s how you can reconnect with your higher self:
- Take Accountability and Responsibility: The higher self asks, “What can I do to change this?” rather than staying stuck in blame. Lost a job? Didn’t do well in business? Instead of feeling entitled or defeated, take charge. Stop complaining and create a new story—one that empowers you to change your reality.
- Adopt an Abundance Mindset: Scarcity makes us feel like we never have enough. But if you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and friends to call, you’re already abundant. The higher self recognizes blessings in the present while striving for more, free from greed or fear.
- Find Lessons in Mistakes: Mistakes are goldmines of wisdom. Instead of dwelling in guilt or shame, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Even other people’s errors can teach valuable lessons if you’re willing to see them.
- Practice Gratitude in Small Moments: Don’t wait for big achievements to feel grateful. The higher self finds joy in the smallest things—a kind word, a shared laugh, or even a memory. Gratitude pulls you out of an egoic space and into a state of balance and positivity.
These steps take practice, but they can lead to clarity, growth, and peace.
How to Tap into Your Higher Self: A Mindful Exercise
Your higher self is not very concerned about the chaos in life or how much money you have, what car you’re driving, or which brands you’re flaunting. It is all-knowing and focuses on soul evolution over material transitions. So when you find yourself questioning which mindset is ruling your actions, take up this short but effective exercise to know the difference between operating from a space of ego versus the higher self. When put to practice daily, the insights can help you unravel a small win, everyday.
Exercise: What would your higher self do?
The ‘What Would My Higher Self Do?’ exercise is designed to help you pause, reflect, and discern your motives when faced with ego-driven thoughts or actions. This practice brings mindfulness to your decisions and aligns you with your higher self, leading to clarity, peace, and purpose.
Whenever you feel unsure, ask yourself the following questions based on these key lessons:
1. Don’t Let Success Get to Your Head
Question: When celebrating an achievement, ask yourself:
“Am I feeling grateful for the journey that brought me here, or am I using this success to feel superior to others?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: Success is a milestone, not a measure of worth. The higher self focuses on gratitude, humility, and the lessons learned along the way. It recognizes that true success uplifts not just yourself but also those around you.
2. Stay True to Your Roots
Question: When making decisions, ask:
“Am I honoring where I come from and the values that shaped me, or am I distancing myself from them for approval or validation?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: The higher self remembers its roots and stays grounded. It values authenticity and does not seek external validation. Staying true to your roots keeps you connected to your inner truth and purpose.
3. Put the Divine First
Question: When setting goals, ask:
“Am I aligning my desires with a higher purpose, or am I chasing material gains for status or ego?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: The higher self prioritizes spiritual alignment, understanding that true fulfillment comes from connecting with something greater than yourself—be it faith, love, or a sense of service. Goals aligned with the divine bring lasting peace and joy.
4. Be Mindful of Your Impact on the World
Question: Before acting, ask:
“Will this decision positively impact the people, animals, or environment around me, or am I prioritizing my convenience over the greater good?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: The higher self is considerate and mindful, understanding that every action has a ripple effect. It chooses kindness and empathy, especially toward those who are vulnerable or in need, knowing these acts enrich the soul.
5. Always Be Kind, Especially to Those Who Cannot Repay You
Question: When helping someone, ask:
“Am I doing this to feel good about myself or to receive recognition, or am I genuinely offering help with no strings attached?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: True kindness expects nothing in return. The higher self helps because it understands the beauty of giving and the interconnectedness of all beings. It finds fulfillment in creating a better world for others.
6. Generosity of Heart
Question: When giving to a cause, ask:
“Am I contributing out of abundance and love, or am I seeking approval or absolution for guilt?”
The Higher Self’s Perspective: The higher self gives freely and abundantly, recognizing that generosity stems from an internal state of fulfillment. It is not about being seen but about the joy of giving and sharing blessings with others.
Final Word
Whenever you feel conflicted or pulled toward ego-driven decisions, pause and reflect. You can use this guide to reconnect with your higher self and choose actions that reflect your values, nurture relationships, and align with your authentic self. Remember, the path to mindfulness, peace, and connection with your higher self is not about perfection but consistent effort. By putting these mindset exercises and philosophies into practice, you will move closer to a life of balance, mindfulness, and fulfillment—one that truly resonates with the best version of yourself.
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Comment (1)
This article really hits home. It talks about how ego can mess up relationships and reminds you to choose understanding and teamwork over being “right.” Simple, relatable, and worth a read!